Fighting hidden battles; you know the ones; battles we have hidden behind our well-crafted facades. Conflicts fought and lost in the filters we use.
Dearest One,
I move through the days of My Year of Trust longing for spring, warmth, and sunshine. Change. Still, it doesn’t come.
A whisper from the Holy Spirit did. I wanted to thump my nose at the words, “is it control or trust?”
Well crafted prayers are they heartfelt or somehow shaped by control?
I confess to you; it is a little of both.
Refining, after all, does smite deep in our souls. The best lessons come from the hardest seasons. That does not mean I have to like it and neither do you.
Fact is the hidden battle I fight daily is my desire to control the circumstances. If I cannot fix it, my need to control the details overwhelm me. Am I alone? Do you find yourself attempting the same?
Shaping my prayers a certain way, plastering a smile on my face, digging for grace with every ounce of strength I can muster. Carefully watching my words, filtering the pictures, and holding things close rather than leaning on my community.
My family and friends will tell you I am the strong one after all.
Is it strength or is it control?
Fact is, beneath control lies a layer of fear, fear of how it will turn out.
I worry your compassion and kindness will unleash the tears I hold tightly in or worse, that I will crumble to the floor.
Rather than going boldly to the Throne of Grace, I tippy toe quietly near and leave my prayers. His ways are better than my ways, but what if it’s not the way I want things to work out?
“For as heaven is higher than earth, so my ways are higher than your ways,and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 (CSB)
What if I give up fighting my hidden battle, fully trusting God’s way?
The weight of it all would slip away. There would be no more hiding. No more control, instead there would be trust.
Trusting God with your most sacred parts is hard.
In 1 Samuel, chapters one and two, we see Hannah go back to the temple year after year, begging God would answer her prayers for a son, promising if He did she would give him back.
When Hannah weaned her son, she returned to the temple, trusting God with his life.
Just as Hannah, the truth is, there is nowhere else to go. Bad as long to fix it; I cannot. Only God.
He has promised us good and not harm. Promised a future and hope.
For I know the plans I have for you” — this is the Lord’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)
Fighting hidden battles; you know the ones; battles we have hidden behind our well-crafted facades. Conflicts fought and lost in the filters we use.
What if we laid the hidden battle, the conflicts, the filters, at the Throne of Grace and trusted the King of all kings?
How about we relinquish our control and fear, allowing our Rock and our Refuge to carry the load?
Exhausted and depleted is there any other way?
Dearest One, I think not.
From the Wilderness Place
Your Wilderness Guide,
RECENT POSTS
Searching Beyond the Surface of Ruth
Finding Contentment In My Year of Trust
Discipleship In the Messiness of Life
You are welcome here! Sign up here and receive new posts directly in your inbox.
I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to guide you through your wilderness as I journey through mine. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me at tlmashburn@yahoo.com.
PS: My first book, Mornings In The Word is available now. Order your copy today.
Oh so beautiful Tammy. He sees every broken piece within us, and so longs for us to lift up every part to Him. I am so thankful He never asks us to bear it all alone. He continues to ask me to lay down all of those areas that I have tried to control. Thank you for these precious words of encouragement.
Thank you, Bettie, for your encouragement!
XO
I saw this the other day: God doesn’t ask us to give up coffee or chocolate for lent, He asks us to lay our lives down. Trust?
Yes!
XO
Wow! This message hit home. How many times do I try to control events instead of letting go and letting God be in control? I am working on this in my life. Going to God first is always best. 🙂
Melissa, it nailed me! It’s a work in process!
XO
This year at our church has been declared a year of Trust, and I can’t even count all the different challenges that have presented themselves among our fellowship. We’re going to get our exercise for sure! On our knees!
Wow! That’s a great idea! I’d love to hear more!
XO
Trusting God is indeed so hard…especially when trusting with our most sacred parts. Praying still for you and your family! This line really jumped out at me too “The best lessons come from the hardest seasons.” There is so much truth to that sentence. Beauty does rise from the ashes!
Yes, it does Tara!
XO