Fullness comes when feasting at the Master’s Table. His hands, they open wide and beckon me out of the cold, the emptiness, the broken edges, and unholy hard. -TLM

Dearest Reader,

I have missed you so. I have thought of you and prayed for you. I feel as if my life slid over sharp edges, leaving me reeling and hanging on the edge with clenched hands. These are the days of unholy hard that comes from living with chronic illness. 

The fullness of my days has worn me weary. I know this well by now, four-plus years living this side of normal. P.O.T.S. is calling in her debt. I have learned a hard lesson. Truly, is any lesson learned every easy? I think not.

November passed in a blur of doing, filling, and loving. It was exquisite and beautiful in every way. I came away as if I had been at the Master’s table feasting on the fullness of His beauty, His Words, and these past days, resting in bed, feasting on the fullness of my weight in His capable hands.

It has been beautiful. It has been difficult. There has been pain and weakness, I fear will take me months to recoup.

The gift of His filling seems to come through the hardest of times. When we have stepped just beyond His reach relishing in our own agendas, pruning will take place. We can fight the pruning or we can take on the posture of surrendered obedience.

I confess I did a bit of both.

Through it all, there has been a beauty I will treasure in my heart.

Hours curled in the corner of my sofa reading near a thousand words of Lucy Maude Montgomery.

Heart to heart time with one who fights demons I know well.

Laughter around a too small table ringing loud in our humble space.

My Sweet Man, also known as Papa, playing Monoply with a passle of precious kids.

Three generations of girls in Target on Black Friday Afternoon.

Kristin Hill’s beautiful book, Go and Tell No One. I declare she read my heart and sent her words directly to me. In fact, I have prayed her words every day:

“Jesus, You are the treasure. Teach my heart what is true. Help me to Remember and Rest in the Secret and the Sacred, with you…” -Kristin Hill

It has been in The Secret and Sacred place God has given me words for Advent. I will be sharing them soon. A series of four, published every Wednesday in December. I am excited to share with you the words He has given me. The story He has planted deep in my heart. It is an upside down Advent story, one I hope will breathe life into your soul.

Over the next days and weeks, I will continue to rest in the Secret and Sacred. Find fullness in abiding in Him. He is the Great Physician, the Love of my life, spending time with Him is my favorite delight.

Gifts of Grace

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I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to share with you the Gifts of Grace as I journey through the wilderness. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me here.