“In every season of our lives, we meet the edges of life we never expected. The unexpected pain of life often leaves us only with the choice of how we will endure it.”
Kara Tippetts from The Hardest Peace
“But we are not the Author of our story. We are the characters.”
Karra Tippetts from The Hardest Peace
Welcome! I’m so glad you are joining me today! Sign up here and have new blog posts delivered directly to your inbox and stay in touch with more Gifts of Grace as we journey through the wilderness together.
Dear Reader,
I prayed for you earlier, prayed for your fear and pain, your unanswered questions. Your trembling knees as you grapple with the words, “There is no cure.” Relentless cold and howling winds have me wondering if perhaps this is the day you long to burrow under your blanket, retreating from the world. I am fighting the weariness myself.
Soon I will share how I manage in my daily life, what I have learned on this wilderness path. The things that brought accolades and praise from three different specialists I have seen in the past two weeks. You can read about one of those visits here.
The past days have found me turning over the question I am most often asked. “How are you?” I struggle to answer that question. Do you? I believe their sincerity, I don’t doubt their love and concern for me. When one leans in and ask a second time, “How are you really doing?” It is then, I feel their desire to know the honest, ugly truth.
I realize it is hard for others to grasp that a journey of chronic illness has no end. No. End. With each day comes a new layer heaped on top of the last one. Gnarly fingers of pain dig deeper and deeper. Pushing through and smiling gets tiresome day after day, week after week, year after year.
From where they stand, they cannot see past the layers of what appears to be normal. Cannot see beyond the acting abilities I’ve come close to perfecting the past three and a half years.
So how in the unholy hard do I answer that question? How do we answer that question?
Chasing bunny trails and sweet conversation yesterday, I may have found the answer that fits best.
I am most excited to share it with you.
However, more than anything;
I picture us, wrapped in our struggles, sharing a table and coffee, joining hands. Sharing stories, bearing one another’s burdens, just as Galatians 6:2a (NLT) tells us.
“Share each other’s burdens.”
The precious friend I was speaking with yesterday once stood in the kitchen with Kara Tippets in the days before she went to be with Jesus. Glad to find Kara up and about, she asked her how she was feeling.
To which Kara promptly replied, “Don’t ask me how I’m feeling, ask me how I’m living.”
When I am asked how I am feeling or assumptions are made based on how I look, I find myself in a conundrum, certain you do not have time for the dissertation I could, and might give you. Feeling less than authentic when I answer, “Fine.”
I have decided going forward, Kara’s answer is the best.
To answer with Kara’s words, is to share my most authentic self.
I want you to know, Dear Reader, you are not alone. Whether your unholy hard is chronic illness or something else entirely, I long for us to walk through the wilderness together.
I would love to hear from you! You can do that by commenting below or contacting me here.
“When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us?
Ann Voskamp from One Thousand Gifts
I had the opportunity to be a guest on Holly Barret’s podcast. You can catch the podcast episode here and listen to more of my story through the wilderness and living with P.O.T.S.
Read about my friend, Sue Tell’s (suetell.com) conversation with Kara Tippets here.
You can purchase Kara’s book The Hardest Peace below:
Gifts of Grace
Beautiful! That question strips away our masks and we are left with a gut-wrenching face to face show down with–How am I living? Thank-you for opening my eyes!
What a great thought Jessica!
XO
Tammy
And, you know Tammy that is a good question for ALL OF US to be asked.
Amen Sister!
XO
Tammy
Wonderful! I want to remember that response! I think it could change the shift of the whole conversation!
A good question when you are making connections, and what a lead in to proclaiming Jesus in your life!
XO
Tammy
The unholy hard…oh how we all struggle with it in one way or another. Karas words are such a gift!
So true Tara! I pulled out her book yesterday and felt the pull to read it again!
XO
Tammy
“Don’t ask me how I’m feeling, ask me how I’m living.” Just that small change can transform the way we think about our circumstances and the way we interact with others. Visiting from #heartencouragement.
So true Kelly!
Thank you for stopping by!
XO
Tammy
My daily pain is nothing compared to most who suffer with chronic pain, but even I struggle with this:
“How are you?” I struggle to answer that question. Do you?
I don’t want to be a whiner, but I want to keep it real. I usually brush off the question with a quick answer and then change the subject. Sometimes that feels appropriate, but other times, not. I still haven’t quite figured out the best way to answer….
It is a hard question to answer isn’t it? I want to be authentic, but then I don’t want to feel like a whiner. I think Kara may have given us the best answer! I’m planning to put it use!
Thank you for stopping by!
XO
Tammy
Ask me how I’m living – wow, chills!
Right??
Thanks for stopping by Friend!
XO
Tammy
Such a great question to ask how someone is living instead of feeling. 🙂 I bet I’d get some confused looks in return if I started asking that. Thanks for sharing at Literacy Musing Mondays!
Thank you for hosting Brandi!
XO
Tammy