“His difficulty’s ancient~
how to feel another’s hurt
and classify it, while my prayers
for relief rise like thorns.”
At the Clinic~Luci Shaw
We walk into the doctor’s office, he carries my bag, my gatorade in one hand, the other, wraps tight around my arm. I carry the cane and me.
Wondering if folks are staring, assessing me. Making assumptions.
I sign my name. It’s a slow progression of steps, making my way over to sit next to him.
We chat, I read a bit, gaze about as I turn the pages.
When I finally look up, look around, my eyes are drawn to the old fellow and his velcro closure shoes.
A beat up walker sets in front of him. A tattered and faded, filthy tote bag attached, holding his personal things.
There is a tuft of hair poking from the back of his ball cap. His odor, a bit strong. I wonder, does he live alone. Is there no one to help him shower and dress. I suspect that kind of tenderness is missing in his life.
Fingernails, long since trimmed, on gnarled and aged hands.
His difficulties, ancient. Battle scared and beat up on the outside, I pray for his inside.
There was a son, perhaps a grandson, sitting close by. He seemed impatient with the old fellow as he paced about. Embarrassed by his out loud musings and moving around. Words, sense, could not be made of.
He came closer, sat down by me.
I looked down at his feet, the velcro closures on his shoes. Thanking God for cute ballet slippers, thanking him for the small things.
Looking down once again, the musings for velcro snaking across my mind, I nearly wept.
The old fellow, he had no socks.
I looked back up, smiled into his rheumy eyes, glazed over with pain.
The sweet receptionist called him by name, asked him how he was. “In pain,” he says, “hurt real bad.”
His stiffness, his slow way of moving, the restlessness under his skin; touched me. Hits a mite close to home.
But the socks, or lack of, that was the thing that did me in. Did the bulky shoes hurt his feet? Were they chilled on this damp and dreary day?
To not have someone to tend him, put socks on his feet, I knew he couldn’t reach. It called out to my deepest parts. I understood.
I am blessed in that way, a sweet man. He bends over in the pre~dawn hours, slips the fuzzy warmth onto my feet. Sits patiently by me in this place.
In comparison, we were not so different. Me in my ballet slippers, he in his velcro shoes. Stooped and bent on the outside.
He had maybe a decade or two on me. His wisdom, slipping to the edges of his knowing. Leaving him addled and dazed. Mixed up he was, why he was there, why they couldn’t leave.
The imprint of him on me, the missing socks, his aloneness, another sweet moment of God’s grace.
Just days ago, I cried. I wanted to give up on the medicine, the side effects. Take my chances in the fragile bones.
My eyes are opened by the man with no socks. My heart, bends a fraction. The hard fades.
I still have my knowing. A loving, selfless man. Tends my needs. Family, they wrap around me like warm blankets. Friends, they just show up.
Grace meets me here. Shows me the good I have.
Grace, that transforms the hard into the blessings. Makes the wilderness sweet and wild, where extravagant love meets me. Provision, already there. These, the things I hold tightly in my grip. Shake off the stench of missing the old way of life.
The sweet aroma of Him, spills on the stench I carry inside.
They called his name, he goes through the door.
I pulled out a marked up index card, scribbled down my thoughts. My blessings.
Not wanting to forget this moment.
How God can use a more broken, aged man. Use him to show me all I have.
When the tears slip down my cheeks, I’ll pull this moment of grace out.
Wiggle my toes in my fuzzy socks. Count my blessings.
I will the feel the hurt of the man in his velcro closure shoes. Worry over his cold feet. His need for tending. Whisper the thorny prayers.
Pray, that even in his loss of knowing, He knows of grace. Holds the hope of salvation in his heart.
Let go of my thorns, and reach for the Grace.
“At the Clinic”~Luci Shaw
On a scale of one to ten…The doctor leans towards me with his pad of paper, needing to record a number for my pain.
I tell him, four for my shoulder; my hip joint, eight; my knee~not sure, changes with the weather…
It’s the old conundrum~how to to add up my complaints for his chart? Say~seventeen?
His difficulty’s ancient~how to feel another’s hurt and classify it, while my prayers for relief rise like thorns.
Graced by God
Tammy Mashburn
Other places you may find me…

That’s a wonderful story. Is it your own story? I would like to share it on my facebook page if that is ok.
Yes, we were in to see my Doctor yesterday. I always carry my journal in my bag. Yesterday I failed to put it in my bag. Thus, the index card filled with a list of books for my best friend to pick up. I scribbled my thoughts in red ink over the blue! Smile
My regret, they called him back before I could share a word with him.
XO
Tammy
And by all means, I would be humbled for you to share it!
I have often watched people in my neurologist’s office and wondered how long it would be before my MS is as bad as those next to me. I looked in fear, not wanting to face my future. I pray the next time I will remember your words and look, not in fear, but with compassion.
Frieda
Love you, Sweet Friend!
Tammy
Love this Tammy! What wonderful reminders He lovingly places in our lives.
Amen, Friend! God is so good!
XO
Tammy
Thank you for sharing the Luci Shaw poem — and your heart of compassion!
Thank you for stopping by!
XO
Tammy
Praying for the strength to keep going on this road that is in front of you and for the joy of the Lord to be the Presence you feel over any discomfort. And thanking God He let your heart take in the prayer need, the pain and the suffering of this man who requires your prayers more than anything else. This reminded me so much of the nursing home my grandmother was living in when she died. So many people, ancient stories to share, lives that mattered…alone and broken. It broke my heart every.single.time.
Thank you for the reminder to pray.
Bless you,
Dawn
Thank you, Friend. It’s so easy to focus on ourselves, which I often do. But the old fellow was a mirror of my future & a wonderful gift from God to remind of his blessings!
XO
Tammy
Such a beautiful story of God’s grace and mercy to you. It is amazing how He opens our eyes at times to see His work in our lives, even in the difficult days, even when we think He is not at work. Praying for God to strengthen you & give you all you need for this journey. I think this is my first time here and I am very happy to “meet” you! Blessings to you & your man!
Thank you for stopping by! It is nice to meet you as well.
Blessings to you!
XO
Tammy
Beautifully written and compelling! Thanks for sharing. I just joined the fun today and am part of Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung. Blessings to you!
Thank you! I am looking forward to visiting everyone. This is my first time participating over at Kate’s. Writing prompts make me sweat. Add in the five minute timer and my eye begins to twitch. 🙂
XO
Tammy
My dear friend, what a powerfully rich and tender story. How good of God to find another way to extend grace to you in the midst of so many challenges. As I read you so often speak of your “sweet man” I am always impacted by the gift he is from the Lord and how deep and tender your relationship together.
Love and blessings on your day today!
Pam
Thank you, Pam! That was one of those rare times when the words find you!
I am very blessed with my sweet man. The wilderness has brought an even sweeter tenderness between us in this season.
Grateful ❤️
XO
Tammy
So true and well said!!
Oh your words….xo
Diane it was one of those rare moments when the words found me. #blessed #grateful
XO
Tammy
Tammy, thank you for reminding me that though my body is imperfect and much of my energy is gone I have a richly blessed life.
Sheila Dobbins
You are a blessing to me, Friend!
XO
Tammy
Love this post! God surrounds us with so many things & people each day… great reminders of His love, His care, His plan to use US in this world!!
Tammy, I am so glad I found you in the TBT post this morning. I hadn’t read this story at your place yet and I absolutely love it! SO MUCH THIS: “Grace, that transforms the hard into the blessings. Makes the wilderness sweet and wild, where extravagant love meets me.” Grace truly is an incredible amazing gift.