IMG_190131 Days Walking Through Chronic Illness

day twenty~eight

“I don’t understand Him, Timothy; if I did, would He be God? I believe that everything that happens must pass God’s muster, and that somehow He permitted this. He is very present~and working in our lives.”

In This Mountain~Jan Karon

I did not understand this. Not any of it. The betrayal of one’s physical body gets personal somehow.

I did believe in the bigger plan, the bigger picture.

I knew He was present. Knew He was working in this. I trusted in it. Held onto it.

Through the hanging on, the believing, in the tenderest of places of my most vulnerable; came the briefest glimpses of the bigger plan. The bigger picture.

A picture, in my own ways of doing, I could never have drawn.

It was breathtaking. Beautiful. Hallowed. It still is.

Grace in it’s purest form.

That’s the story. The real story. The Grace.

There was the community God had been building around me. At the time, as bonds were being forged, I saw it simply as wonderful opportunities.

The folks I ran with. It wasn’t luck or just happenstance. A group to run with to be safe. No, there I found a Soul Sister, friends, close relationships. The person who would connect me with her husband, the cardiologist who saw beyond the general tests. Pointed us to the right neurologist, where eventually the right test was performed. From there he quickly got me into Duke, to someone who specializes in P.O.T.S.

He took our personal calls when we were scared out of our wits.

Coincidence? I don’t think so. The Almighty God, who has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11)  Yes.

The ladies I shared Bible Study and life with. I saw them as Sisters in Christ. When crunch time came, so did meals, and gifts, encouraging words. Visits, when I was at the lowest point. Prayer warriors, they circled around.

The journeyers who came along with me. Provision, when needed.

Friends who moved us into our new place, while I sat and watched.

“Life would be easy if it weren’t for people, I think about how this story could have turned out without people, and how much my life is enriched by said people, and I smack myself in the forehead and go invite somebody to lunch.” Grace in the Middle~Wendy Duke

The people, the community, God had built around us, became a part of our story. A part of the bigger plan.

Grace that God provided.

My community was filled with godly people. People who minister, without being called. They simply show up.

The common denominator, Jesus. The thread that strung us together.

When we asked the hard questions, He was there.

When I came to the end of myself, He was there.

When I couldn’t see Him, He was there.

I don’t know where you are in your journey. Whether it is chronic illness, a wilderness season, or perhaps you are the caregiver, maybe the journeyer walking along beside someone.

You are not alone. There’s hope. There is a bigger plan. A bigger picture.

Pick up the phone, send a text, reach out to someone you know who will pray.

Take the first step into the Grace that is there for the taking.

Looking beyond ourselves and into the eyes of God, is the way. The only way.

He. Is. God. The Author of your story. The One, that when the bigger plan is revealed, or just a small glimpse; your heart will answer aha, I see it now.

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! Psalm 92:4A NLT

Gifts of Grace

Tammy Mashburn