IMG_190131 Days Walking Through Chronic Illness

day twenty~four

“It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. 

The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.”

C.S. Lewis~The Weight of Glory

Saturday in the south is a glorious thing. Waking slow and stretching long in the midst of autumn.

The sun rises later and later. The pre~dawn sky is clear and bright with sprinkles of light, scattered about.

Pink hovers just at the edge of the horizon. Low hanging fog moves lazily across the field.

We have had near perfect autumn weather. Windows and doors open wide. Fresh crisp air blows through.

As I rise in the morning, ask Him for my daily bread, thoughts of the things I left behind in my former life, graze across my mind.

The frailty of the human mind has a want to cling to the things of old.

I pay them homage. Attempt to move on. They clamor for attention.

A hot bath, or even a hot shower

Copious amounts of piping hot black coffee

A super cold and icy Diet Coke 

A walk along the beach 

Driving alone in the car, windows down, music loud

I ponder Job and all he went through. Lost it all, save for a nagging wife and a few pesky friends.

Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. Job 1:20 NLT

Though he grieved, he worshiped.

I cannot say when I timidly step into a cool, tepid bath, I am want to worship. Hot baths, hot showers are dangerous places for folks like me. Relaxes the blood vessels, sends my blood pressure on a downward plummet. Causes a wilted body. Darkness.

Instead of bubbles and warm water, my pre~bath ritual equals a salt tablet and a Gatorade.

Too much coffee, even the decaffeinated, can set off a tachycardia event. An unpleasant experience.

Same with the Diet Coke I sometimes crave.

Bright sun, warming my legs, not safe. Extreme hot or cold, not a good thing.

I once bit into a frozen Klondike bar, swallowed the bite, tossed it across the bed. Yelled mightily for my man, who found my heart rate had jumped to 176. A bite of ice cream, for real!?!

Seriously, it took months before I could even eat ice cream without a near panic attack.

Compared to Job, these are minor inconveniences.

Minor losses. Small things left behind.

As I have released the losses, my heart has been filled with Daily Bread.

Grace, mercy, provision. All there for the taking.

The daily bread.

In the receiving, the opening of hands. In thanksgiving. The worshiping.

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God. Job 1:22 NLT

My hands must open wide to receive and not place blame.

Opened they are filled with The Daily Bread and Living Water.

Gifts of Grace

Tammy Mashburn