“In the great fractures of our lives, God is present in the cracks.” I Want God~Lisa Whittle

The wind is gusting across our ridge today. Leaves are swirling. My decorative flags are whipping about. The occasional piece of stray litter lifts and dances through the yard. It’s dark and dreary.

Worries dance across my mind. The uncertainties. The unanswered questions.

I hate being in the place of  the “not-knowing”. It doesn’t sit well with my controlling nature.

I don’t rest in the unanswered questions. The what if’s. The places of not knowing. The unresolved.

It’s a little like that itchy, too snug sweater. Choking me. Causing discomfort.

Draining my energy. Robbing  me of sleep. And peace.

When we focus on the jagged edges in the  “cracks”, we take our eyes off The One who meets us there. We forget, He is there with us. It’s where He shines. It is where we see Him in all of His Glory~in the fractures of our lives.

“Our spiritual strength begins to be drained when we stop lifting our eyes to Him. Our stamina is sapped, not so much through external troubles surrounding us but through problems in our thinking.” Oswald Chambers

And as Oswald Chambers says, it’s not so much the external troubles surrounding us as much as the problems that come in our thinking. Where we take that thing laying heavy in our souls, to the worst possible outcome, then take it some more.

These days I find myself bogged down in my thinking. My imagination runs wild as a runaway train to every horrible outcome. Etched into my imagination. Satan’s playground for me.

“So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.” Psalm 143:4 NIV 

I’ve been in the cracks and God has met me there. I’ve been in the valley and God has met me there. I’ve been on the mountaintop and God has met me there. I’ve been in the dark, the pit, the hard places and God has met me there.

Yet in my thinking, in those far away places of never~never land, I fail to remember.

“I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.” Psalm 143:5~6 NIV

I look at the picture of my hands, a reminder, Beth Moore, in our closing session of Children of the Day, had us write on our hands. BUT THE LORD IS FAITHFUL…with a permanent sharpie. I spread out my hands.

And I remember. And I receive.

“But you, O Lord, are a shield about me; my glory, and the lifter of my head.” Psalm 3:3 ESV

I listen to Ann Voskamp speak of Jacob wrestling with God in 1Samual 2. She says, “Wrestling is the best place to be. Wrestling with God keeps us touching Him, engaged with Him.”

So I will wrestle out this thing with God. I’ll stay close to Him. He will lift my head and I will see Him. I will see Him in the cracks in the side walk, the jagged edges in the dark places and try to let go of the fear of the unknown and the “what ifs”.

“though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:24NIV

And later, probably today even (smile), when I stumble I will not fall! For the Lord will have me by the hand.

Graced by God

Tammy Mashburn