Trust the Process: My Year of Trust and Aging Gracefully

 

Dearest Reader,

This has been a hard season for my family, holidays nor birthdays have been marked in any special way. Saturday morning I sat quietly by the fireplace as another year slipped past me. There were moments of dread and moments of awe as I marked my fifty-ninth birthday with an abundance of coffee, reflection, and grace in the silence.

My desire is to grow old gracefully. Instead, I tend to focus on regret and things long since past. What I see are mistakes and things I’d change. Experience has taught me that regret breeds bitterness and bitterness is a weight I no longer want to carry.

We cannot change what was, but we can steward well what lies ahead.

My desire is for this coming year to be different.

Rather than stewing in regret over the past, I want to look ahead, finding ways to make this next season count. Aging gracefully is a process I want to live well. My longing is to leave a legacy that counts, a legacy that is less about me and more about sewing deep seeds and bearing Kingdom fruit.

I line up the remaining years beside the Word of God finding ways to live my best and most authentic life.

When my time here is finished, I want to hear the words, “Well done good and faithful servant,” 

What I am learning is that it’s less about me and more about serving others.

There was also a prophetess, Anna, a daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was well along in years, having lived with her husband seven years after her marriage,and was a widow for eighty-four years. She did not leave the temple, serving God night and day with fasting and prayers.” Luke 2:36&37 (CSB) (emphasis mine)

I don’t profess my character to be anywhere near to Anna’s, but, what I want is to serve the Lord night and day for the rest of my life — impacting my sphere of influence with the Gospel.

Anna’s heart was for serving God, and her life reflected it well.

Cultivating a servant’s heart is a process. Serving is living a life of humility.

Remembering God’s faithfulness.

Journaling is the spiritual discipline in my life where I can reflect and remember God’s faithfulness to me. When I read through the pages stained with coffee, I see God’s handprint all over my days.

His faithfulness is recorded on the pages, faithfulness that leaves me speechless before him.

Worship overflows from looking back. Anticipation is born from looking forward in expectation of what he will do next.

Trusting that God will care for me in the aging process wipes away my fears.

How? Through his Word, through relationship and intimacy.

I’m not one who believes in coincidences; instead, I see them as God appointed moments.

When the following Scriptures “happened” to slip into my time with the Lord Saturday morning, I knew God was laying them before me as faithful promises.

“I will be the same until your old age, and I will bear you up when you turn gray. I have made you, and I will carry you; I will bear and rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4 (CSB)

“Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the ways of righteousness.” Proverbs 16:31 (CSB)

I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And yet, I could stand to love him more, know him better, and spend more time with him.

Nurturing a more intimate relationship is a process, a process worth pursuing with our whole beings.

His smile washed over me with grace upon grace. I sensed his mercy through the provision of his Word.

I want to begin this year doing my best to gracefully and authentically live the process of aging.

My hair is entirely gray; the wrinkles etched deeper into my skin. My bones ache night and day with a burning vengeance.

But this I know: I am held and loved by a faithful God.

I want to run this race well, finishing strong, serving with humility, loving others well, and bearing Kingdom Fruit.

From the Wilderness Place

Your Wilderness Guide,

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I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to share with you the Gifts of Grace as I journey through the wilderness. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me at tlmashburn@yahoo.com. 

PS: My first book, Mornings In The Word is available now. Order your copy today.

You can find more on My Year of Trust here.