“Trust while you wait is a balance of grace and impatience entwined by the Creator’s hands.”
Most days my collection of ticking clocks bring me comfort. Not so much while I wait while gripping fragile trust. My impatience to know the answer tempered by the fear of knowing the thing I do not want to know. My heart cracks with each passing day.
It is true what they say, “Ignorance is bliss,” but it doesn’t change a thing. What it does instead is tangling your stomach in knots and send your heart racing.
Have you been there? Are you, too, waiting for the answer to the horrible, unwanted question? The kind of problems we hope and pray dare never to cross the edges of our lives?
Trust while you wait is a balance of grace and impatience entwined by the Creator’s hands.
If we were sitting across from one another over coffee, those are the words I would share with you. You would tilt your head and raise an eyebrow. I know, because I have done the same with God no less.
God has been gentle yet firm with me. His grace and mercy marked this path long before it began. I took notes, I listened, and I paid attention. I am grateful for age and wisdom to know to do such a thing.
Still, my feet have been kicked out from under me. I am battered, bruised, and feeling fragile.
My discipline of journaling has been my way of processing this particular wilderness.
I want to share a page from my journal with you.
Dearest One, when I do, please do not think I am giving you a puddle of mud or being trite with you. These are real truths that are ministering to me.
February 9, 2019
Scripture focus: Exodus 34:6 (ESV)
“The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.'”
A lot is going on in Exodus 33 and 34; I encourage you to read it for yourself.
Essentially, Moses has asked to see God’s Glory. God instructs Moses to come up Mount Sinai and stand before Him on the mountaintop. Exodus 34:6 captures the moment when God reveals himself to Moses.
- When we don’t know where God is, we can trust in who He is.
- God is merciful.
- Slow to anger.
- God is abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
Thank you, Jesus!
I may not get the answer I long to hear today.
And when the answer comes it may be the one I don’t want to hear. It may be the story I do not want to live.
What I know, what I will choose to believe is that God is good. He is trustworthy and faithful even if the answer does not make sense in our fallen world.
I am still waiting. I am again trusting.
We can choose to trust in the waiting. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. It is not. It is painful. I am living on the edge of falling apart while knowing with all my heart that God is and will hold me together.
I can give up, or I can move forward in my year of trusting.
I will rest entwined in the balance of grace and patience in the Creator’s hands.
From the Wilderness Place
Your Wilderness Guide,
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I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to share with you the Gifts of Grace as I journey through the wilderness. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PS: My first book, Mornings In The Word is available now. Order your copy today.