Trust perfection when perfection in this life is elusive, out of reach, and unattainable? 

Is it even possible?

Dearest Reader,

We are four weeks into January, and my year of trust is proving difficult at best, other days it feels unattainable. The irony of so much good and so much hard riding side by side wearies a soul.

Some days ago it came to me why.

I have been chasing perfection most of my life. I wonder if you have found the same?

In a nutshell, it comes down to this: I want everything fixed and fixed as soon as possible. I long for a night of sleep minus physical pain and the toll of worrying.

I have perfected a list, laid it before the Lord with the expectation of this whole wilderness gig and year of trust to be over.

Over and done, and I will willingly (haha) walk towards the next thing, though, knowing myself as I do, I expect it there would be kicking and screaming.

And there you have the first dent in my perfectionism; I am fickle and not one suited to change. Just ask my Sweet Man, he’ll surely agree.

To trust in perfection is to believe in something I will never attain on this side of my life.

Today’s culture would argue this. What with perfected, cropped, filtered, and staged social media posts we have forgotten our most authentic self.

A touch-up here, a filter there, proper lighting, and a ton of cropping and we become lost. We become disenchanted and disillusioned.

I no longer can find myself, let alone trust perfection.

Truth be told until I stopped coloring hair I could not remember the original color. I convinced that younger woman she looked great with red hair. I lost the authentic me.

Now that I am grappling with trust and counting down the days until the birthday that will move me one-year closer to sixty, there is a longing to let it all go.

Why? Because trusting perfection is elusive and unattainable and will only wear me down.

I will let go of trusting in perfection while trusting in what is to come. Trust in the promise of a new home, a new body, no pain, no worries, and a perfect God.

Trusting perfection will wound and disappoint.

Chasing perfection will defeat you. I know, because I have wasted too much time aiming for something not meant for me in this life.

Truthfully I want God more than I want it all fixed. In my search of perfection, I’ve not found anything that compares to a good, good Father.

What does it look like to trust a perfect God in the midst of the unholy hard?

It can be whittled down with God’s Word:

“God — his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in him.”  Psalm 18:30 (CSB)

“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 (CSB)

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” John 16:33 (CSB)

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30 (CSB)

I want more of God and less of me. John 3:30 wipes out any facade of trusting perfection.

God is good and God is perfect in every way.

That, Dearest One, is the only perfection we can trust.

From the Wilderness Place

Your Wilderness guide,

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I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to share with you the Gifts of Grace as I journey through the wilderness. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me at tlmashburn@yahoo.com. 

PS: My first book, Mornings In The Word is available now. Order your copy today.

Catch my post on Discipleship here.