“When we refuse to plan before we ‘know,’ we are asking for the same level of knowledge about our future as God has. But this is not how God works. Instead, to humble us, God only reveals the course of our lives one step at a time. God only makes our path straight before us with each step of faith.”
Hannah Anderson-Humble Roots
I first shared Humble Roots on my June Book Shelf. Each word, each page has become dear to me. An old friend beckoning me to join her, lean in and listen close. I’ve worn the pages thin, marking, underlining. Copying paragraphs onto the page.
Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach says this in her post, Learn from the Best: Copywork for Grownups:
“But when we copy out someone’s work, it’s even better, closer—we don’t miss a thing. We see it all, each and every decision, as it emerges in our writing notebook. Copywork documents the work of another writer so that the copyist is naturally, organically mentored by the original author.”
It’s safe to say, Hannah Anderson has become a mentor to me. It’s not so much the way she tosses out beautiful prose as if it is as natural to her as breathing, or, the fact that she lives and writes of the Blue Ridge Mountains. A place, that speaks of home and far away memories.
It’s the title, Humble Roots, the subject, humility. Pride lies at the very center of my heart, from there, shards of all that disappoint, hinders my relationships with others. Hinders my relationship with God. Given a scalpel, it is the one thing, the thing, I long to cut away.
Hannah says this in Humble Roots:
“Surprisingly enough, humility teaches us to embrace desire as a means of learning to submit to God. It is precisely through the process of wanting certain things that we also learn to trust God to fulfill those desires or to trust Him when he changes them. It is precisley through the process of learning to plan that we learn to depend on a God who makes our plans happen.
Pride, on the other hand, demands to know God’s will before it will act. It balks and halts and refuses to move until success is guranteed. In other words, sometimes the failure to plan is a form of arrogance that expects knowledge beyond our human capacity to know. When we refuse to plan before we “know,” we are asking for the same level of knowledge about our future as God has.” But this is not how God works. Instead, to humble us, God only reveals the course of our lives one step at a time. God only makes our path straight before us with each step of faith.”
I’m a big picture kind of girl. In all of my human arrogance and pride, I need a map pointing a straight line from point A to point B. Or, worse, I much prefer to submit my plan to God and expectantly wait for His approval.
This summer, I have said the words, “This is the step we are on, therefore, we are going to focus on this step,” what seems a hundred and two times to those I love.
I love God’s sense of humor, how He places me in the place I don’t want to be. The place where a curtain has come down, and the proverbial big picture, hidden behind it, remains elusive. The place where I am meant to live out of blind faith. The place where tension between pride and humility intertwine.
I struggle. I struggle with pride. Pride in thinking I know best. Pride in wanting to see beyond the next step. The answer. How it’s all going to turn out. I’m wondering if you do the same?
I’m expecting, demanding to have the same knowledge of God. I’m not meant to know those things. You are not meant to know those things.
“And it is precisly this “slow reveal” that keeps us dependent on Him. It is precisly the process of pursuing our desires and waiting for Him to either establish or alter our plans that humbles us. It is precisely the process of pursuing desire that brings us rest.” Hannah Anderson-Humble Roots
We are meant to live in faith, in humility, in complete dependence of God. Here is the most disappointing thing of all to me, I have lived stripped of all self-reliance the past four years with chronic illness. And yet I find myself back here again and again and again.
So much pride. So little humility. Thinking, believing, I need the big picture, rather than walking in faith. Living in the “slow reveal.” One step at a time.
Gifts of Grace
I’m blessed to serve you in this place, to share with you the Gifts of Grace as I journey through the wilderness. I picture you across the table, hands wrapped tightly around your cup, sharing life, and laughter, and tears. As I share with you, my own daily struggles, I long to hear what yours may be. Sharing the realness of life. You can do that by commenting below or reaching out to me here.
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