“Affliction awakens us to things we might not have seen otherwise.”

Russ Ramsey from Struck

“Knowing that I come to this season having seen the world only through the eyes of the well, I ask God to help me see whatever this struggle might reveal.”

Russ Ramsey from Struck

Dear Reader,

Are you walking in affliction today? Perhaps, you have heard the same words I have, “There is no cure.”

Could be the words, “There is no cure?” are pounding fresh in your heart today. Before this moment, you were living your life on the other side of health, waking this morning to the reality of standing on the edge of the wilderness. You may have watched others as they have struggled in their new normals, and today you are confronting your own.

You’ve asked yourself how in this unholy world do you continue moving forward. Your wilderness journey stretches before you. You wonder how you can make it out of bed, let alone put one foot in front of the other.

When we last met  I shared my struggle to answer the million dollar question, “How are you doing?”

I look into their eyes, I’m prone to wonder do you really want to know?

How am I really doing?

I am in my fourth year of this disease, and can I tell you four years ago I couldn’t imagine how I could live, or even if I would? I was quickly fading away, without any resemblance of the woman I once was. Every area of my life needed assistance. Dignity, lost. Dependence replacing independence. My quality of life, twenty percent on the good days. And those were few.

Today, my quality life ranges from sixty to seventy percent, though given the right or wrong circumstances, it can and will quickly deteriorate. My days are hard.

I cannot escape the reality of what is.

In the best of the best moments within my day, the symptoms are always with me. There. Is. No. Cure. Whether twenty percent or seventy percent, this is hard. I have reached a place where I no longer recall what it’s like to feel good. The sleepless nights, the need for my Sweet Man to help me out of bed. Relentless nausea, vertigo, and ringing ears. There is nothing normal here.

I no longer live a life relentlessly running on a hamster wheel. I embrace the quiet and stillness, finding a peace that passes all understanding. Dancing a new rhythm.

I’m reminded of the words of James;

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing” James 1:2-4 (NLT)

Once a runner, endurance is something I can embrace. No, it doesn’t make it any easier.

Living a life of endurance in the unholy hard is better than folding up. I am asking God to meet me in this place. To help me see whatever this struggle may reveal. For grace to live this story well, taking your hand in mine along the way. Sharing our burdens.

“I ask God to help me see whatever this struggle might reveal.”

Russ Ramsey from Struck

There are many things in life, difficult marriages, financial loss, grief, dramatic life changes, a rebellious child, as well as chronic illness, which make life hard and seemingly have no end. You have found community in this place.

“How are you really doing?”  I would love to know! You can do that by sharing below in the comments or contacting me personally here

Connect with more stories of living the unholy hard here.

Purchase your copy of Russ Ramsey’s Struck here:

 Gifts of Grace