IMG_2764

photo credit: my sweet man and his loyal furry friend, Lola

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.

Psalm 19:1

My sweet man and Lola, came in from their early morning walk, both, grinning from ear to ear. Handing me his phone, proud of the pictures he had taken. Catching the sunrise this past Sunday, beams of light radiate from its center of heat. They were breathtaking.

He knows me well. Knows how often he finds me on the deck in early morning, looking up.

Days I don’t understand. I muddle through life. News stories run across my phone. A mother pulls her lifeless child from the lake. A baby, bruised and beaten, lays abandoned in a hospital. Homes leveled, others flooded with muddy waters. Families displaced. My head shakes in the unholy hard, my heart breaks. Tears slip down my face.

Those are the days that find me outside in early morning, a speck below a blanket of stars, looking up. Searching, whispering, “Where are you God?” Digging deep to find praise, to look up and sing “Alleluia! Alleluia!”

His handiwork displayed in the looking up.

Bowed by the weight of the unholy hard, questions skirting the edge of my soul. I turn the pages, searching for answers.

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.

Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. 

They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard.

Psalm 19: 1-3

Without sound or word, in the silence, there is God.

How often do I look down before I look up? How often do I seek my own answers before I seek His? How often do I doubt in the seemingly impossible things of life?

How often do I ask, “Where are you God?”

Through a blanket of stars whispers God, “I am here.”

In the beams that radiate from a ball of heat, whispers God, “I am here.”

In the unholy hard, whispers God, “I am here.”

And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 1Kings 19:12

If not for fire, would I hear His whisper? Seek Him?

If life were ordered in the way I would like it, would I ask? If every problem was fixed just right, would I look?

We’re not promised a perfectly ordered life, a life absent of unholy hard. A life where every question is answered with what I think to be right. In fact, John assures us, “In this world you will have trouble.” John 16:33

I don’t like trouble, I’m guessing you don’t either. I would love to skip over John’s words, feign ignorance, pretend they don’t exist. But they do. And that is where I find Him.

Why?

When I am at the end of myself, the gut wrenching worry, unanswered questions, seemingly impossible places of hard life, that is when I look up.

I look up, slam smack into grace. A peace settles over me. His peace. Peace, sold and bought with a hefty price, for me.

I know, He is here.

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.

Psalm 19:1

I was doubting the words today, wondering from where they might come. I have been drawn to Psalm nineteen for days, whispering David’s words as prayers. I called my sweet man, ran the words by him, told him I had used his picture. But God, I wrote about that here, seems he was worrying the same question. When I asked for his unedited opinion, he shared his own struggles of late. Of sitting on the bed just last night, asking the same questions. Seeking the same answers. But God! Pummels me with grace. Every. Single. Time.

The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat. 

Psalm 19: 6 

Coming September 26th this sweet little book. I am humbled to be tucked somewhere among the pages.

IMG_1748

Gifts of Grace