~WHOLE~
~Five Minute Friday~
Whole~Complete
Lying on a cloud of down, prayers said, Bible tucked under the pillow; I was completely pulled in to the book I was reading on my Kindle.
A good story, beautiful prose, one way God meets me in my pain. The piling of soft down layered beneath me, another.
I missed the #fmfparty last night. Did not even check in for a peak at today’s word ’till sleep was interrupted at four am.
WHOLE.
The last precious minutes of sleep slip away as I give the word freedom to dance around my mind.
Oh, this will be easy I thought. ‘Till I realized it has been all of the hard, all of the broken fragments of me, making me whole.
Healing does not always come in ways we want or even expect.
I greedily grab my mug of coffee and pull a book off the shelf. Mended: Pieces of a Life Made Whole by Angie Smith. (if you have not read this book, please do, it is a beautiful piece of work)
I spent the early days of hard clinging to the whole of me as it faded away. So often these past years, as The Wilderness Marathon spreads endless before me, I would pick up this book. Gaze at the cover (pictured above). My body was shattering, just as the pieces of the pitcher Angie smashed onto hard ground before her. Glueing the pieces back together became her way to process all that she had been through. A way to see The Light as it shines through the cracks of brokenness. Healing. Made whole again.
I wanted so badly to toss a piece of pottery to the ground, I simply did not have the strength.
Through this struggle, I have come to see myself just as the pitcher. Fragments of broken shattered to the ground. A piece of pottery in The Potter’s hands.
It is only through brokenness one becomes whole. It was clear to me. The message. I left the asking for healing to the powerful and mighty prayer warriors surrounding me.
“The places that seem hollowed out and destroyed hold the potential for a beautiful transformation.” Angie Smith~Mended
The beautiful transformation is where I am being made whole. The transformation is the healing. It’s a work in progress. There is no glue strong enough to mend my broken body. Only the Savior’s hands.
…everything HE does reveals his glory and majesty…
Psalm 111:3 NLT (emphasis mine)
Gifts of Grace
Tammy Mashburn
Beautiful post. I loved the book Mended as well. It is truly a life long process of becoming whole. I am grateful that He brings healing and beauty even while in the process. Blessings!
Thank you, Joanne!
Blessings to you as well!
XO
Tammy
I want to reach through the screen and give you a hug. Seasons of brokenness are so hard. Waiting for healing is even harder. You have such a brave attitude. Thank you for the gentle reminder.
Thank you Bethany!
XO
Tammy
Amen! Only God canhold us together. May he continue to use his holy glue on you!
Yes Anita!
XO
Tammy
Tammy, did you write before your illness? Just wondering. xo
I’ve always journaled. Dabbled with a few stories (as gifts). Won a little award~haha~in first grade in a school wide,K~12th grade, & the puny 1st grader won! Smile~
After my illness God gave me purpose with my words.
XO
Tammy
Love! Have you heard of the Japanese art form where they gold lacquer pieces of a broken pot? The gold reminds us of the potterys history. And it is through the cracks that the light gets in.
No, I will be looking that up Tara! Thank you!
XO
Tammy
Very good and moving to my heart. He is taking care of you and will continue to do so.
His hand is on your back and always will be.
Love,
Mom
This is so beautiful! Angie Smith is one of my favorite authors, too. I haven’t read Mended yet, but I’m putting it on my list! I’m stopping over from FMF. 🙂
I have not heard of Angie’s book. Thanks for the excellent recommendation! I read your words as you post them and I see clearly the evidences of treasure in the earthen vessel that is you because of Him. Blessings on you, sweet and tender beauty.
Thank you Friend for such sweet & encouraging words.
XO
Tammy