“Keep your heart with all diligence and God will look after the universe.”A. W. Tozer

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January is rolling along sprinkled with dark, dreary, misty days, cold rains, howling winds,  and record breaking lows. I have taken to my cuddle duds, warm fuzzy socks, fleece pajamas, and large quantities of hot cocoa.

While I have been “camped” in trying to stay warm and avoid all the bugs that have taken ahold of our little community, I’ve been turning over and over in my mind, my “word” for the year.  You know the “word” I mentioned in my last post, but still had not settled on.

That’s a bit unsettling for a girl with just the tiniest (smile) hint of OCD. Maybe that’s a good thing. Instead of having a word all ready picked and laid out long before the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, I’ve landed into the story God has handed me. Waiting. Waiting, yes for a miracle. Praying for one. Yet, knowing there was a longer, slower, harder lesson to be learned.

I’ve dug into Scripture and spent time in prayer, waiting for the right word. There are so many words, I am overwhelmed. So many wrongs I long to right. I am a fixer. I long to make the hurts of others better, especially when they fall so close to home. Snuggled right up on my door step slipping in with the cold. Threatening the ones I love.

Over the past several months, God had been giving me a theme during my quiet time. The whisper in my spirit over and over was trust. Trust Me. Trust. Me. This is not for you to fix, Tammy. This is where I Am going to show you my glory. I need you to back up and let me do a mighty work.

Honestly, the word has been there all along. I was choosing to ignore it. Hoping, by chance an easier story would come my way.

Unfortunately, I’m not very good at waiting. Not good at trusting in the waiting. Not good at stepping back and allowing God to do His mighty work. Yes, I’m one of those hard headed types convinced I can fix it faster and better. You’d think I would know better by now. I’ve made enough messes on my own. I really don’t want to go there again.

Trust. Trust is my word for 2015.

And it comes with some work…

TRUST = RELINQUISHING CONTROL

Ouch. Ouch. And double ouch.

Seriously…YES. Control is my issue and now God is calling me to relinquish control and trust Him with all that I want to fix.

“But if the hardest is asked of us, we believe grace will be there.” Kara Tippets~The Hardest Peace

Yes, grace will be there. There will be provision in the Word. I’ll probably still kick up an occasional stink  through this season. More than I am proud of.

“I lie in the dust; revive me by your word.” Psalm 119:25 NLT

When the going gets tough, and it will, I’ll go back to Kara’s story. Remind myself there are harder stories to live.

I’ll flip through the worn pages of Psalms in my Bible, and my eyes will feast on every highlighted treasure.

“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3NLT

Trust. Relinquish control. Grace. Provision. What will 2015 hold? As my precious “spiritual daughter” reminded me, just as I was having this light bulb moment…’grab your popcorn and set back and watch what He will do’.

Graced by God

Tammy Mashburn