“In the days of her affliction and wandering Jerusalem remembers all the treasures that were hers in days of old.” Lamentations 1:7a NIV

I confess, lately I have been struggling with a bit of restlessness. You know that feeling of wanting something, but you just can’t put your finger on what it is? Maybe a bit displaced.

We’ve been settled into our new home and new community for seven months now. We’ve been feeling our way around a new Church home for about the same amount of time. And I am struggling to find community, a place where I fit.

Searching for something to fill the longing in my heart.

Wandering in a restless season. Unsettled. Searching. Not knowing what it is that I’m looking for.

This is a place I don’t want to be. It is a place of vulnerability. A place where the world and the evil one can creep into the cracks and crevices, causing a crumbling of my foundation, a rattling of my scaffolding.

In Jean Fleming’s book Pursue the Intentional Life, she devotes an entire chapter to your “scaffold”. In it she says, “life well lived wears deep tracks. A deep track can be nothing more than a rut, unproductive and perhaps even destructive. I ponder. Well-worn tracks in what direction? The path to the prayer closet pounded hard, indented. The circuit from the Bible to the heart a sanctified-channel. A trail of faith-and-love choices to the glory of God.”

The thing to do, the only thing to do when you are wondering around in a restless place is to look up to God. And pray. Pray that over a lifetime you have strengthened your “scaffolding” in the Word of God. That you have tracks, deep tracks that will always lead you back to Him. And a well worn path to a prayer closet. “A clear structure of mission and values” Jean Fleming says.  A knowing. A knowing of the One who created you and knows you intimately.

In last weeks sermon, Pastor Bryan posed two questions. What brings fulfillment to your life? And what brings fulfillment to God’s plan in my life?

In other words, it’s not about me.

The way out of this place is not to look for the things that fulfill me, but to ask God what brings fulfillment to His plan for my life. These are the deep tracks I want to walk in. To live in. Grow in.

When I am in this place, I want, I need to ponder on and mull over, to remember the treasures He has placed along the way in my story.

To have a history, a connection, an intentional daily, moment to moment,  seeking of God. Seeking His face. John 30:31 says it this way...”He must become greater; I must become less”

“Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you”, declares the Lord… Jeremiah 29:13-14a NIV

“The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob knows us before we are. Before knitting us in our mother’s womb, and it’s this knowing that keeps us from getting lost. 

It’s this being known that is the compass that guides us home”

Atlas Girl by Emily T. Wierenga

That’s the answer to this wandering in a restless place. The compass. The filling of an empty place.  No matter who you are. Where you are. What you’ve done.

Being known by The One who knit me together in my mother’s womb…bit by bit. Who knows me inside and out. Who loves me anyway. Who will always be home. My Abba Father.

Graced by God

Tammy Mashburn